


Sudden Onset Fatherhood (Here Comes Trouble)

by argento_capitani



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Gift Fic, M/M, Mild Angst, Other, eggsy unintentionally causes trouble, harry and merlin being awesome dads with eggsy as their cinnamon roll son basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 08:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5915881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argento_capitani/pseuds/argento_capitani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: "After the death of Eggsy's father, grief-stricken Michelle decides to use her favor from Kingsman to insure that her son gets the life he deserves. Harry adopts him. Would be really great if Merlin helped out too. (Could be a Merlin/Harry pairing)"</p><p>Hope you enjoy, sadieb798!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sudden Onset Fatherhood (Here Comes Trouble)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sadieb798](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadieb798/gifts).



> Currently un-betaed and self-britpicked. All mistakes are my own.

“Everything all right, Galahad?” Merlin’s voice rang crisply in Harry’s ear.

“And hello to you too, Merlin,” he replied bemusedly. “I’ll need you to make some arrangements for me. My living situation has changed quite unexpectedly.”

A short pause followed. 

“Harry, what happened?” Merlin asked, a hint of warning clearly carrying through the feed.

Harry looked down at the wide eyes looking up at him curiously under his white cap as they walked down the bustling pavement. A medal hung around his neck gleaming proudly, shifting back and forth in time with their steps. The little boy’s right hand was clutching Harry’s while in his left he was grasping the handle of a tiny suitcase which trundled noisily behind his worn trainers. A Power Rangers backpack sat on his shoulders, and yet another bag was being toted in Harry’s other hand along with his Kingsman-issued umbrella. Harry gave him a small smile, which was brightly returned. 

Harry brought his eyes up again. 

“It appears that I’ve acquired a ward,” he answered softly. “As of fifteen minutes ago, I am Eggsy Unwin’s legal guardian.”

Another pause came, and then a long-suffering sigh met his ears. He could practically hear Merlin pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Bloody hell, Harry. If you wanted me to move in with you then you could have just _asked_ me instead of going ahead and getting yourself a son.” 

“You know me, Merlin. I’ve always had a flair for the dramatics. It’s also rather convenient since it’s as good a time as any to ask you to marry me.”

Silence. Dead silence. Harry had always known he tended to be quite brash, but it’s what always gave him the upper hand in the field. Perhaps he had finally reached the limit in regards to his personal life. He wordlessly prayed to the powers above that he didn’t just royally fuck up a perfectly good relationship.

“ ‘arry?” a small voice piped up, interrupting his increasing anxiousness.

“Yes, Eggsy?”

The boy was pursing his lips, his brows furrowed in what appeared to be deep thought. Harry brought them to a stop, kneeling down to meet Eggsy’s eyes which quickly snapped down to his feet.

“What is it, my dear boy? You can ask me anything.”

“Um… well…” Eggsy began, then steeled himself, looking up into Harry’s face. “Mummy told me I’s to stay with you now, but if I stay with you, I can’t take care of Mum like you told me to before.” 

His mouth twisted into a frown. 

“Is Mum okay? She’s not gonna go away like Daddy, is she?” 

A pang of sorrow hit Harry square in the chest. 

“No, not at all, Eggsy,” he responded. He paused, considering his next words carefully. “She’s not going away to where you can’t see her again. Your mother loves you with all her heart and only wants the best for you. That’s why you’ll be staying with me from now on, because I’m able to give you the best.” 

He rested his free hand on Eggsy’s shoulder.

“If she knows that you’re being well-taken care of, then that will make her very happy. And if you’re prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform into a young man your mother will surely be proud of. That’s how you’ll be able to take care of her, understand?”

After a moment of consideration, Eggsy gave a resolute nod and cast his chin up high. 

“I’m gonna be the bestest young man ever,” he declared. “I’ll be just like you ‘arry ‘an I’ll be so good at maths and stuff that Mum will never be sad again!” 

Suddenly, his stomach gave a loud growl, making Harry give a small chuckle.

“That’s the spirit, Eggsy. But before we get started on your ‘maths and stuff’ what would you like to eat?”

The boy scrunched his face in thought before it was replaced with a big, hopeful gaze.

“Chicken nuggets?”

“We’ll make it a happy meal,” Harry said, which earned him a shout of delight. He stood up and offered his hand to Eggsy, who took it with renewed vigor, continuing on their way with a skip in his step. 

“You two will be the death of me,” Merlin abruptly cut in, although there was fondness in his voice. “I’ve got the rings and the marriage license ready. We’re lucky Porter doubles as our tailor and local officiant for these types of situations. Lancelot and Percival will be our witnesses. We’ll meet you there.”

“That fast?” Harry asked, slightly bewildered.

Merlin gave a huff of amusement. 

“It’s Kingsman,” he stated as a manner of explanation. “If you’re having second thoughts, it’s too late to back out now.”

“Never,” Harry immediately responded. “I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else by my side.”

“Aye, I love you too. But I expect you to make it up to me for getting married at a bloody McDonald’s.”

“I’ll order anything off the menu for you.”

“How romantic,” Merlin said dryly. “Get me a Big Mac with small fries and we’ll call it even.” 

Harry couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face, feeling as giddy as Eggsy looked. 

/ / / 

It had been four months since Harry and Merlin enrolled Eggsy in the best school in the area. The seven-year-old seemed to be doing well. Very well, in fact. His sunny personality made him quite popular among the other kids, and despite his boundless energy, he was consistently getting top marks in his classes. It was the perfect environment for him to blossom in, so when Harry received a call from the administrative office telling him that Eggsy had gotten himself into trouble and needed to be picked up immediately, Harry was taken aback by surprise. 

“I’m truly sorry Mr. Hart, but violence in any form cannot be tolerated at St. Trinian Academy,” stated Headmistress Fritton. She was around the same age as Harry, outfitted in a monochrome dress with her hair in an elegant updo. Although her mouth was set in a firm line, her eyes were soft and sincere, almost apologetic. 

In front of her desk, Harry was succeeding in appearing calm, not letting his worry betray him. He was leaning back in his chair, legs crossed and resting his umbrella in the crook of his elbow.

“Eggsy meant well, but instigating a fight with another student is inexcusable,” she continued. “I regret to say that by school policy, I’m required to put him on three days of suspension. Since the other student was spurring him on though, they’ll be facing the same consequences as well. You’ll find him outside the nurse’s office.”

“I understand, Headmistress Fritton. Thank you for your time,” Harry said, standing up and buttoning his suit jacket. 

“My pleasure, Mr. Hart,” she replied as they shook hands, “Barring the circumstances, you should be very proud of your son. He’s one of our best and brightest.”

“And I’m sure he’ll continue to be so after I have a talk with him,” Harry stated confidently, “Good day, madam.”

After he exited the office, Harry turned right into the main entrance, made his way to the end of the large hallway, and then took a left to where the nurse’s office was. Eggsy was sitting on one of the chairs placed outside, hands on either side of him and head bowed, his legs gently swinging back and forth in the air. There was smudges of dirt all over his face and his uniform was rumpled beyond repair: his jacket was sporting a few rips and his shirt was untucked with a skewed collar. He stilled at the sounds of Harry’s footsteps, but didn’t look up, afraid of the disappointment he might see in Harry’s face. 

Harry took the seat next to Eggsy’s and adopted the same posture that he had in Fritton’s office. After a few moments of awkward silence passed, he cleared his throat and finally decided to speak.

“What happened, Eggsy?” 

“Didn’t Headmistress already tell you?” the boy said, his voice small and quiet.

“I’d rather hear your side of the story,” Harry said in answer.

Eggsy looked up at Harry, his face open and fearful. When he saw that Harry was simply looking back at him with eyebrows raised in expectation, he breathed a sigh of relief, faced forward, and slowly started swinging his legs again.

“Charlie was pickin’ on Roxy when it was playtime,” Eggsy began, “ ‘e kept pokin’ her ‘an calling her bad names. Then when she kept tellin’ ‘im to stop, ‘e pushed her into the ground.”

He turned to Harry with wide eyes. “Roxy can fight anyone, Charlie too, but Roxy’s my best mate ‘an best mates always stand up for each other. So I told Charlie to go away, but then…”

Eggsy’s voice became shaky as tears started filling his eyes. “Then… Charlie said Mum never loved me… ‘an that I live with you ‘an Merlin… ‘cuz she didn’t want me anymore… so I started hitting ‘im… ‘an then… ‘an then ‘e started hitting me back… ‘an I was so angry ‘arry, I couldn’t help it.” 

The words were coming out in rush in between hiccuping sobs. “I’m sorry ‘arry, I’m sorry. I know Charlie was lying. I didn’t mean to.”

Harry reached over and began rubbing Eggsy’s back to comfort him. The boy immediately leaned into his side, shuddering with small gasps.

“Shhh, it’s all right my boy,” said Harry in a soothing tone, “It was very brave of you to stand up for your friend; it shows that you have a lot of loyalty and that’s an invaluable quality to have. And since you already know that fighting with Charlie was wrong, I won’t repeat it again. You’ve already learned your lesson by getting yourself hurt.” 

As he said this, Harry took stock of Eggsy injuries. There was already a bruise forming on one of his cheekbones, three Mickey Mouse band aids on his shins, and some gauze wrapped around his left hand. Harry gingerly picked it up and turned it over in his palms. 

“And what happened here?”

“Charlie bit me.” Eggsy said with a pout. He was still sniffling, but he was determinedly wiping away his tears with his free hand. 

Harry gave a huff of laughter, shaking his head. He plucked his handkerchief from his breast pocket and handed it over to Eggsy, who received it gratefully by loudly blowing his nose into it.

“There’s a time and place for fighting dirty, my boy, but not when you’re the one who started the fight first. Charlie should be ashamed of himself.”

At that, Eggsy’s face broke out into a wide grin as he nodding enthusiastically in agreement, giving a small giggle, another hiccup jumping in at the end. 

“Come now. It’s time we go home.” Harry stood up and offered his hand to Eggsy who grasped it as he jumped down from his chair.

The two made quite a pair walking down the long corridor: Harry looking regal in his pristine, double-breasted suit and Eggsy trotting beside him with dirt and snot rubbed all over his face, his uniform torn and filthy.

Harry wouldn’t have had it any other way.

/ / /

It was three or four in the morning when Eggsy’s desperate yells startled Harry and Merlin awake. The pair practically jumped out of bed.

“Eggsy?” Harry cried out, rushing out of the bedroom. When he got out to the hallway, he saw that the bathroom light was on under the closed door. 

“ ‘arry? Merlin?” Eggsy’s frightened, muffled voice came from inside.

Harry quickly tested the door hoping that it wasn’t locked and was relieved to find that it wasn’t. He swung it open, head buzzing and ready to roundhouse kick a potential intruder. 

Water was slowly spreading all over the tile floor, steadily dripping from the overflowing toilet bowl. Eggsy was standing in front of it with fistfuls of wet toilet paper and wearing a blank expression, frozen in place out of fear of the unknown. He turned to look at Harry and Harry could only stare back, trying to figure out what the _hell_ the boy had eaten to upset his stomach so much to the point of clogging a toilet.

Behind him, he heard his husband give a snort of laughter. 

“At least he didn’t try hatching eggs again, eh Harry?” 

After watching an Animal Planet documentary about chickens, Eggsy had taken eggs from the fridge and stashed them under cushions all around the house in the hopes of being the proud owner of some chicks. This had unfortunately included the cushion nestled on Harry’s leather office chair. When the agent had sat down to fill out some paperwork, he heard a wet, sickening crunch. 

_But my back is in perfect condition_ , was the first thought that entered Harry’s mind.

Eggsy had spent the rest of the evening carefully wiping away the egg’s remains from the upholstery while Harry patiently explained to him why all store-bought eggs couldn’t be hatched no matter how much they were warmed. When he had told Merlin what had happened when he came home, the quartermaster merely ruffled Eggsy’s hair affectionately and said, “Aye, that’s my lad.” 

Harry wasn’t amused. 

Nevertheless, he smiled fondly at the memory while Merlin gently pushed past Harry, warily stepping on the wet floor until he lowered to a crouch in front of the boy. Harry crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame, content to observe the situation. After all, communication was Merlin’s forte.

“What happened here then, Eggsy?”

Eggsy gave a deep frown, then turned back to the congested toilet. 

“When I flushed, the water kept coming up so I thought the toilet paper would be able to help soak it up. ‘an it didn’t.” He glared at the soaked mush in his hands, betrayed by its uselessness. Then he forcefully threw it in the rubbish bin sitting next to the toilet, before dramatically drying his hands on his pyjama trousers. 

Harry did his best to suppress an amused smile while Merlin maintained a neutral expression on his face.

“Well Eggsy, toilet paper does soak up water, but not quite like this. Or with this much… liquid. The water was coming up because there was something stuck inside. That’s why you need a plunger to bring up what’s stuck so that the water can go back down.”

“Oh,” Eggsy said simply. “Can I use the plunger then?”

Merlin ruefully shook his head. “I’m afraid not. As strong as you are now, you have some growing up to do before you can handle a plunger.”

“Oh,” Eggsy said again. “But you’re strong, aren’t you Merlin? Can’t you do it?”

The Scotsman shot Harry a smirk, who discreetly rolled his eyes at him.

“Why yes I can, Eggsy. Would you like to watch?” 

At the boy’s eager nod, Merlin turned until his back was facing Eggsy. “Climb on then, lad.”

Eggsy squealed in delight as he clambered on. When he had securely wrapped his arms and legs around Merlin’s neck and waist, Merlin stood up and turned to Harry. 

“Could you go fetch the mop then, love?” Merlin asked. “Eggsy and I will get this toilet flushed in no time.”

“Yeah! Go Merlin!” cheered Eggsy, who punched a fist in the air.

This time, Harry let his smile show.

“Anything for the strong man,” he replied cheekily before making his way downstairs.

Overall, it took Harry and Merlin (with Eggsy’s exuberant encouragement) a good twenty minutes of plunging, more soaked toilet paper, and tedious mopping before they were satisfied with the bathroom’s appearance. They changed Eggsy into a new pair of pyjamas before tucking him in again, then did the same for themselves, slumping into bed and turning to face each other in the dark.

They lied there in sleepy, contemplative silence.

“One day, he’ll make a mess neither of us will be able to clean,” Merlin stated softly.

Harry hummed in agreement. “We’ll have to do our best to make sure he’ll be able to clean up after himself then.”

“Aye, but for now we still have plenty of time before that happens.” 

Instinctively, they both tilted their heads forward, sharing a chaste kiss.

“Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Merlin.”

After a couple moments, a hesitant knock sounded on their door. The husbands exchanged a worried look, wondering if something else had happened. 

“Eggsy?” Harry called out.

The door opened and Eggsy stood there, one hand resting on the door knob.

“What’s wrong, Eggsy?” Merlin asked.

“Can’t sleep,” the boy muttered, idly scratching his neck. He was giving them puppy eyes that rivaled the plush pug he was cradling to his chest.

Harry gave a knowing glance to Merlin, who gave an assenting nod.

“I supposed there’s room for one more,” Harry said. “Come on then, Eggsy.”

The boy closed the door behind him and padded over to the bed, crawling over and under the sheets before settling between the two men with their arms wrapped around him, curling into Harry and with his back snug against Merlin’s chest. 

“Good night, 'arry. Good night, Merlin. I love you.”

“We love you too, lad,” Merlin said tenderly, before pressing a kiss into Eggsy’s hair. 

Harry did the same before whispering, “Sweet dreams, my dear boy.”

The trio dozed off in contentment before drifting into a sound sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfic so it's a bit rough, but I honestly had such a blast writing this for sadieb798! Plus, the Kingsman fandom has been so welcoming and sincere since I first joined it, especially the mods for the Hartwin Secret Santa who were very helpful and wonderful all around. 
> 
> I would link to my tumblr, but it'll have to wait until authors are revealed. ;)
> 
> EDIT: ALL THE AUTHORS HAVE BEEN REVEALED YAYYYY everyone's works were so great! You can find me as [argento-capitani](http://argento-capitani.tumblr.com/), so please feel free to say hi and drop off more prompts!


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